Mormon Women and Prozac.

So, a while back a friend told me that Utah had the highest consumption of Prozac than any other state, but I didn’t think much of it at the time.

Skip forward several years.

Then I hit rock bottom. There were many reasons that made me want to stop going to church, but the one thing that ultimately drove me away was depression. Not the kind of depression you can fix with your favorite chocolate or a funny movie. I’m talking the can’t see straight, I’m trapped in a deep, dark hole and can’t get out kind of depression. Not pretty. I had to do some serious soul searching that hurt like hell at times. Reflecting back over the course of my life and all the events that led me to my current frame of mind… I experienced the entire gamut of emotions and then some. But this process was necessary for me. It was very eye opening and scary all the same and left me more than a little confused about my identity.

It was suicide or stop going to church. Obviously I opted for the latter. I’m not sure where this road leads me, but for now it has given me a little peace and moments of happiness.

As I was doing a little reading I came across a study, “Mormon Women, Prozac, and Therapy” by Kent Ponder, Ph.D. As I read the study I found it to be insightful and very validating. I wish so much that I could have had those words available to me 19 years ago. It could have made such a difference in my life. After an attempted suicide at 18 my mother removed me from the hospital I was in because I was “nothing like those people.” She never addressed the issues at hand, never allowed therapy or medication, never admitted there was any problem, and continually told me that I only needed to pray more (among other things along those lines).

My husband who was also born into the mormon faith has told me on numerous occasions that he had all the same lessons as me and doesn’t know how I can feel the way I do. I have had to gently remind him that we are different people and that we process and interpret things differently. Not to mention that we are opposite sexes and don’t see eye to eye on most things.

As I read the article it was a very clear theme throughout: women are affected by depression much more than men, particularly lds women who have been taught to live by a flawed belief system. They discussed three realities for lds woman.

1. For females, "One size fits all."
2. Females obey males from birth to death.
3. Females lack control of their own life choices.

I found their "One Size Fits All Females" list of 24 items to be slightly disturbing and incredibly accurate:

• be respectfully, politely, humbly and gratefully subservient to Mormon males in personal demeanor, activities, beliefs, plans and thought.
• not be, nor aspire to be, nor hope to be, independent from authoritarian males, nor independent in thought.
• attend male-directed religious services.
• participate in male-directed activities. (Even female-led projects are organized under male authorities.)
• attend male-directed weekday seminary classes in addition to academic school.
• obey all male-hierarchy-generated directives.
• submit to male-originated personal-matter (including sexual) private interviews.
• obtain a Patriarchal Blessing which usually promises becoming a mother in Zion if faithful and obedient.
• do genealogy research on male-headed (patriarchal) family lineages.
• marry an LDS man in an LDS temple.
• accept counsel from her husband, and not as just his opinion, but as God-inspired revelation.
• look to her husband as essential to her entry into the best category of Heaven.
• have children, more being far better than few.
• raise all of her children in this exact-same system.
• attend only the chapel assigned to her residence address, regardless of preference.
• accept that if she and family attend any other than this chapel, she and they cannot enter Mormon temples.
• know that her husband may, in the next life, marry numerous additional wives.
• know that she may not marry any additional husband, here (if still married to the first one) or hereafter.
• accept callings to work in church, auxiliary and welfare-project organizations.
• make several forms of financial contributions, ten percent tithing being only one.
• teach her children to become missionaries to convert other individuals into this same system.
• teach this same system to her grandchildren.
• teach her daughters and granddaughters to obey males at home and at church.
• never openly criticize any doctrine, practice, directive or male authority related to any of the above.

Ponder goes on to say that, “many of these women discover that, too often, what they pray for is what keeps them in depression. For these women, ironically and tragically, the more prayer, the more depression!" What a profound concept.

As women we feel more. We are more spiritual, more emotional, more passionate, more intuitive, and more affected by things both in and out of our control.

The world is filled with sadness of all kinds available to us at the push of a button. Wars, natural calamities, sickness, abuse, loss of life, and trials beyond our wildest imaginations are flashed across the television screen on a regular basis. Stories around the world are more widely available and shared more than any time before thanks to an explosion of technological advances. I am deeply affected by the negative things I see and hear.

There are also many demands placed on me by my family, church and community. I am expected to be the family CEO as well as the maid, short order cook, organizer, disciplinarian, comforter, day care provider, scheduler, accountant, chauffeur, counselor, nurse, laundress, entertainer, personal stylist, and educator (as well as many others). I am expected to obey all of the commandments, including the word of wisdom and laws of tithing and chastity, be a submissive wife and woman in the lds community serving to my fullest capacity in service to my god and fellow men, rear my children to be devoted lds servants to ensure entrance to the celestial kingdom and inherit the kingdom of God. Oh, and be beautiful at all times. Nothing short of impossible. As much as I would love to be perfect, this is an unrealistic ideal that will never be attained in this lifetime as hard as I may try.

Yet as lds women we are expected to do this and so much more with very little acknowledgement or appreciation.

Is it any wonder that women take prozac more than men?