When I decided to take a break from church I immediately did what I do best... research. When I don't know something and no one seems willing to share answers, google never lets me down. I'm so thankful for the immediate gratification. My mind can be insatiable at times.
My eyes have been opened. It's an amazing process to finally become aware that everything you've thought to be true your entire life may in fact not be. It's a confusing place to be as you reflect on the past and attempt to live in the present with the new found realizations. I have never lived outside of the mormon bubble, if you will. What now?
After weeks of reading and not sleeping well as my mind tries to process all of this information... I've decided my head hurts. I'm tired of all this thinking. Although I realize that it is imperative to the healing process, I also think a break from all this thinking is in order.
I'm sure as hard as I try there will be nights, such as this one, that my mind doesn't want to turn off. Maybe I need to allow some time to fully process everything I've taken in before I introduce new material. One thing at a time, that is enough for now.
"Insanity is often the logic of an accurate mind overtasked." -Oliver W. Holmes, Sr., The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table, 1858
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I'm in the same place. I just stumbled on "the Truth" within the last six months. In the beginning I was obsessively reading everything I could get my hands on in order to find out the real story. Now I have kind of relaxed a little. I know it is a process to fully recover. Also you have other elements to factor in with your believing spouse and children. Give yourself time. You can read when you want and take a break when you need to.
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