I'm Back!

Sorry it's been so long.

It was easier to not even think for a while. Plus it made marital relations much more harmonious and bearable.

But we're back at it.

And I feel myself slipping into another funk.

I need to talk. To anyone. Without judgment.

More than anything else in this entire world... More than my desire for world peace or a master's degree or plastic surgery...

I want to be free!

I want to be able to live MY life as I want. I want to LIVE!

And as hard as I try, I just can't seem to do it.

I fear I will always have this piece of me that will always be plagued by mormonism in one way or another.

Will I ever truly find me? The person under it all? Beneath the fears and insecurities?

Sigh.

This thought has plagued me for a couple weeks now. I just can't shake it.

And every time I allow myself to dwell on it my face dumps these giant crocodile tears.

I am overwhelmed and saddened by the harsh reality of it all.

I want to be magically transported into a new dimension.

But alas, this is my fate.