Sorry it's been so long.
It was easier to not even think for a while. Plus it made marital relations much more harmonious and bearable.
But we're back at it.
And I feel myself slipping into another funk.
I need to talk. To anyone. Without judgment.
More than anything else in this entire world... More than my desire for world peace or a master's degree or plastic surgery...
I want to be free!
I want to be able to live MY life as I want. I want to LIVE!
And as hard as I try, I just can't seem to do it.
I fear I will always have this piece of me that will always be plagued by mormonism in one way or another.
Will I ever truly find me? The person under it all? Beneath the fears and insecurities?
Sigh.
This thought has plagued me for a couple weeks now. I just can't shake it.
And every time I allow myself to dwell on it my face dumps these giant crocodile tears.
I am overwhelmed and saddened by the harsh reality of it all.
I want to be magically transported into a new dimension.
But alas, this is my fate.
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If you need to talk, I can listen.
ReplyDeleteAw, you are too kind Natalie. I'm away for months and come back to find a follower. Thanks. Sounds like you are going to have some new challenges in your life for a while.
ReplyDeleteFind yourself! Let your feelings help you dig deep to find the inner strength to take your life into your own hands and live free of someone else's control. Be free to make your own choices and live with your own consequences. Be free to think how you want and value what you want and life for TODAY, not for some undefined time after your death which Mormons place all their hopes and dreams into.
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